The polite abuser: Using politeness theory to examine emotional abuse

This study examined how instigators of abuse used emotionally abusive messages to manipulate politeness to attack their partners' face. Additionally, we studied how the people experiencing abuse responded to such messages. Using thematic co-occurrence analysis (TCA), we analyzed 20 semi-structured interviews with those who have experienced abuse. Participants reported that instigators of abuse used all three of Austin's (1990) face attack act strategies of (a) bald-on-record, (b) on record with inappropriate redress, and (c) off-record, as well as the emergent strategy of (d) non-response. Similarly, those who experienced abuse indicated that they used three politeness strategies: (a) bald-on-record, (b) positive politeness, and (c) off-record, and the emergent strategy of (d) not doing the face-threatening act (FTA). TCA revealed five relationships between instigators' messages and the responses of those who experienced abuse. Finally, we discussed theoretical implications and practical applications.