If I am not playing bass trombone in the Mannheim University Bigband I am interested in Higgs physics, QCD, and new physics at the LHC and elsewhere. Because I am not smart enough to just guess the true Theory of Everything, I approach all of those topics from a fairly technical point of view, including first-principle simulations and many applications of machine learning. You can find my publications here and here, including all my great ideas which turned out not to be realized in nature. You might notice that I am publishing almost all my papers in Scipost - that is because this journal is made by scientists for scientists, open access, cheap, and not Elsevier.