The thought that counts is the one we ignore: How givers overestimate the importance of relative gift value

Gift-recipients typically receive multiple gifts in the same sitting, yet little is known about the impact of other gifts on givers’ and recipients’ evaluations of any one gift. Across 12 studies, we demonstrate that givers overestimate how much a recipient’s liking of their (i.e., the giver’s) gift [increases/decreases] when it compares [favorably/unfavorably] to other gifts. This appears to be driven by givers not appreciating that, for recipients, it is the thought that counts. However, this is not due to the roles givers and recipients assume; rather, it is driven by a self-other asymmetry, wherein all people involved focus on thoughtfulness but incorrectly believe others focus on relative gift value. As a result of this misconception, when givers know beforehand that others will be giving gifts that compare favorably to their own, they are more likely to spend additional money upgrading their gifts or even to skip the gift-giving occasion altogether.